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Bedroom Design
Whether it's Valentine's Day or you just want to make your loved one feel special - show your love with romance in the bedroom.
6 Min Read | By Jo Hemmings
Last Modified 24 March 2023 First Added 14 February 2017
Our bedrooms are the epicentre of our romantic relationships. Certain aspects can make or break the romantic mood within a room. But what is the psychology behind romance and why do we crave romantic love?
The first stage of falling in love is lust. The kind of attraction that makes our legs go weak, our hearts pound and suppresses our appetites. Chemical substances like testosterone, serotonin and dopamine flood our brains, making us energised and excited. Dopamine especially affects the senses – making us flush a little more from arousal as well as increasing sexual desire and heightening our mood. Just thinking about that special person makes us feel happier. It’s pleasurable and in its own way addictive – no wonder we crave those feelings.
The release of serotonin gives us a rose-tinted view of our lover and we often believe that we have a closer or more special connection than any other couple. It’s this ‘love-blindness’ that makes us want to stay together and enter the next stage of love, attachment.
During the attachment phase, we release oxytocin, a powerful chemical known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. Oxytocin deepens the feelings of attachment and if mutual, leads to that heady state that we all crave – falling in love.
Let’s get straight into it. Here are 10 lovely ideas to make your bedroom more intimate so you and your loved one can enjoy spending time together.
It needs to look as inviting as possible. Big plumped-up pillows and crisp, freshly laundered sheets all beautifully made up, are key to making your bed look appealing. Try bold colours like a deep navy blue or even the darkest shade of black to add a sense of drama. Think 5-star hotel!
You want to make your bed the main feature and clutter will simply distract you. If you’re inclined to use your bedroom as a ‘floordrobe’, now is the time for a serious tidy-up. Every week, schedule in your calendar a bedroom spring clean. This way, your bedroom can continue to be a calming retreat that you just love to snooze and snuggle in.
Ensure that your overhead light is switched off – it can be unflattering and just too bright. Either use soft glow bedside lamps or groups of tea lights in pretty and safe holders to create a peaceful mood. If they are lightly scented, so much the better. Whichever light source you choose, just make sure it’s dim.
One scientific experiment examined the impact of various light sources on healthy male adults after a stress test. Their stress responses revealed that as compared to dim white, red, or blue light sources, exposure to intense light significantly raised their stress hormone level. So, let’s keep the lights dimmed and yourself… relaxed.
Romance and desire are strongly linked to your sense of smell. As well as scented tea lights, you could also use a pillow mist, a fragrance plug-in or just a spritz of your usual after-shave or perfume on the pillows and around your bed. Don’t go overboard on too many different smells, just one or two, especially if familiar, will trigger desire.
According to research, nothing compares to the delicate magic of aroma when it comes to the art of allure. Aphrodisiac scents are those that heighten desire, pleasure, or performance to stimulate sexual feelings. Pumpkin, lavender, vanilla, cinnamon, peppermint, and ginger are among the best aphrodisiac smells you can use in your boudoir.
They don’t have to be the real deal –you can buy artificial petals or use petal-shaped confetti. If your bedroom is upstairs, scatter a few of the petals up the stairs and across the landing towards your bedroom. It will indicate both romance and intent.
Put ironing boards, clothes airers, and other chore-based equipment out of sight. Also, tidy children’s toys away.
You may not feel that you need to play music, but if you share a special song or music that carries happy memories for you both, then play it fairly softly. For obvious reasons, this works better with gentle, mellow music rather than heavy rock!
A lot of the art of creating a romantic and sexy bedroom is in preparation. Think about covering up or moving your TV out of the bedroom, or putting a faux fur or velvet throw over the bed. Having a bottle of champagne sitting invitingly in an ice bucket, perhaps with some ripe strawberries or cherries in a bowl, will also enhance the sensual mood.
Think of using all your senses to create a romantic mood in your bedroom. While it’s easy to trigger desire with sensuous aromas, music and lighting, don’t forget touch is also a big factor in making your Valentine’s night even more special. Wear something soft and sensual like silk or satin and maybe keep a feather or a silk scarf to hand for teasing your partner and getting them in the mood for some passion-filled intimacy.
So, you’re planning a date night and have no idea what to do for him. Well, one way to a man’s heart is food. Before he even enters the bedroom – cook his favourite meal and dessert that’s sure to delight all of his senses. You could either eat around a candle-lit table or around a warm burning fireplace – bliss. This is a wonderful way to start a romantic date night.
Need inspiration on what to cook? Did you know oysters, chocolate, and wine are all aphrodisiacs? This means they are foods that can maximise desire.
The trick to wooing her during a romantic evening is all about the details. Prior to date night, you need to start a research mission. Discover her favourite snacks, movies, flowers, and music. Does she like massages? Does she like to take a bath? These are all things you’ll need to know so you can start planning the cutest night in together. She’s sure to be impressed.
There are numerous ways to show someone you care in the bedroom. Think of kind gestures, be thoughtful, listen attentively, and express yourself. Tell them you love them every so often, small acts of lovingness can go a long way.
See all articles by Jo Hemmings
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